Spring Break: The Wilmington Edition

At the end of a long, unseasonably cold and cruel winter (by North Carolina standards, of course), Celeste and I decided it was time to head to the coast.

*Full disclaimer: "cold" and "cruel" simply mean that snow actually fell this year, and temperatures dipped below the seasonal averages of 40-50 degrees.  I hate to admit it, and by doing so simultaneously betray my winter-wonderland roots, but after living in the Carolinas for seven years, I am now officially a cold-weather wuss.  Give me the sun.

We were joined in our adventure by the lively company of my childhood friend, Gabe, who is as good-natured as he is mischievous.  Thankfully his wife, Ellen (who by all standards is clearly out of his league) accompanied him and kept him in line as much as she could.  Together, we made merry our Spring Break and ambled around historic Wilmington, North Carolina.

Henrietta III on the Wilmington Riverwalk

Aww...

Wilmington and the Cape Fear River

Our first night there we soaked in the Riverwalk while eating at The Basics, a classic down-home Southern restaurant with ribs so tender they fell off the bone, and baked macaroni that tasted like gold.  It was just one of several Southern meals we shared, and by the end of it, Gabe and Ellen could see why it was so hard for us Southerners to stay fit.

We awoke the second day and toured the USS North Carolina, a WWII battleship that was involved in virtually every major battle in the Pacific theater, including Iwo Jima.  The ship shot down dozens of Japanese planes (or "Zeroes" for all you history buffs out there), and even survived a torpedo attack that left it with a hole in the ship's hull 32 X 18-feet wide.

The USS North Carolina (BB-55)

Defending Old Glory

Top Gun

Home Alone

We then toured the Bellamy Mansion, one of the oldest homes in the city, complete with its gardens and slave quarters.  Seeing such refined historic architecture put us in the mood for some more, so we boarded a horse-drawn carriage and took a tour through the historic districts of downtown Wilmington, where many of the homes had stood since before Lincoln, and some before Washington, Adams, and Jefferson.

The 10,000-square foot Bellamy Mansion, built the same year the Civil War began.

When the Union troops captured the city of Wilmington, the Bellamy Mansion was used as officers quarters.  The tobacco stains on the original marble mantlepiece are from the spittin' lips of those damn Yankee invaders.

From L to R: Bob, Prince, Celeste, Baby Girl Olsen, Jackson, Gabe, Ellen.  And yes, Celeste is 6 months pregnant.

From L to R: Prince, Bob, and Ron the Tour Guide

The oldest home in all of Wilmington, the Mitchell-Anderson House was constructed in 1738.

Two elements of my dream house are here included: columns and a wraparound porch.  Very Southern.

On our final day in town, we decided to hit the beach.  With folding chairs, cornhole boards, and a cooler full of food in tow, we made it to nearby Carolina Beach where we played in the ocean waves and laughed at old men searching for treasure with metal detectors.  We played a good deal of cornhole, laid in the sun, and played a little frisbee.  Gabe, in his infinite wisdom, decided to suck at throwing the frisbee and struck a sunbathing female in the head on a bad throw, kicking sand into her face at the same time.  Of course, it was me who was the first responder seeing as I was the one he was supposed to be throwing it to…let's just say it was very uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Cornholing.

Carolina Beach

Be grateful I kept my upper body hidden underwater.  It is known to do retinal damage in direct sunlight.

The Bushes.

From L to R: Forever Frosh, Most School Spirit

Now we are back in the world of gradebooks and lessons and discipline.  Does this depress us?  Not really.  I mean, it's not easy to come back from vacation, regardless of what job you have.  And in our case, summer vacation is already rapping at the door.

Wilmington, anyone?

Sun, Sand, and Silly Little Girls

I am twenty-seven years old.  Of this much I am now sure.  Celeste had to remind me of that fact yesterday when I was forking a hefty piece of birthday cake into my mouth, and little Ruby said, “Hey, can I have some of that?” to which I shrewdly replied, “When you’re twenty-eight years old, you can eat all the cake you want.”  Celeste then pointed out that by those standards, I was in clear violation.  I made an amendment to my statement and returned to my cake eating.

Pedaling around on the Boardwalk

It was all part of a wonderful weekend we spent in Virginia Beach with my sister and her family, most notably the three cutest little girls east of the Mississip: Olivia (Viv), Ruby (Rooster), and Sonoma (NomaSo).  It's become something of a tradition for us East-Coast-Olsens to come together while the bulk of the family gathers at significant gravestones dotting the northernmost tip of Utah.  We may be few in numbers out here, but let's face it family, Holly and I were always the life of the party.

Add into the mix that it was little Ruby's birthday over the weekend (it was in fact her birthday cake that I was gatekeeping and consuming), and you have a recipe for lots of squealing, smiling, laughing, crying, and more squealing (and more crying).  The girls were always two steps ahead of us in terms of activities and bright ideas.  Celeste and I hadn't even put our luggage down on our first night before the girls pulled us into a scavenger hunt they had carefully and meticulously planned.  There was ping-pong to be played (Viv and set the WORLD record of 13 consecutive hits in a rally), dice to be rolled, and presents to be opened.  They always had a good reason to be eating candy and a ready response for the words: "Girls, it's bedtime."  I love dem girls.

The Three Amigas

The girls took to Merlin, and Merlin took to the girls.  He's come a long way from being terrified of children (true story) to being their friendly canine companion.

Present time.

Jungle Mini Golf

NomaSo didn't really do much golfing.  After the first hole she gave her ball to her mother and her putter to her father, then spent most of her time playing on the props, getting in the way of our shots, and talking to herself.

Aside from all the pre-tween girly fun, we also made time for more sophisticated activities, like when Adam and I exposed our bare, flour-white chests and jumped in the frigid ocean, or when we lingered in an Arcade for longer than people with college degrees ought.  The whole weekend was an exercise in reconnecting with the youth that we routinely bury beneath hundreds of layers of stress, responsibility, and soul-sucking appointments.  It felt good to let it all out again.  We flew kites, we rented bikes, and we ate enough sugar to make us sick.  At one point I could be seen running (maybe more like prancing) down the Virginia Beach Boardwalk, and Olivia kept calling to me, "Jack, people are looking at you!" 

What's to be embarrassed about?

Showing them how it's done.

I always thought it was tacky and somewhat inhumane when people dressed up their pets.  But that's other people.

Spring Breezy in Myrtle Beazy

Myrtle Beach sunrise

Spring Break couldn't have come at a better time. That long stretch of no days off from New Year's to April is always a bruiser, and this year was no exception.

While last year's Spring Break took us to the exotic Dominican Republic, this year's budget and time availability were a little tighter. So instead we went to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Here's some things you should know about Myrtle Beach:

1. It's the "Mini-golf capital of the world" - over fifty 36-hole courses

2. It's technically a man-made island

3. Jackson served there briefly on his mission

4. It's home to two of the biggest motorcycle rallies in the country

5. It's the hometown of Vanna White.

Hard Rock Pyramid

For you Simpsons fans out there.

"I'm sorry, I believe I ordered the large cappuccino."

Sky Wheel at the Boardwalk.

Skeeball at the Boardwalk. All those tickets bought us some delicious bubble gum.

Myrtle Beach was a good time. We went with our friends Casey and Brent Meyer (who, you may remember, got married on the beach last year and we were there in attendance). We rented mopeds, cruised Ocean Blvd., soaked up the nightlife at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville, and partook of the most incredible mini-golfing known to man (fire-breathing dragons and such).

Brent and Casey

Just missing the leather chaps and a tattoo that says "Exonerated".

Clearly I wanted a bigger, manlier bike.

At Dragon's Lair Mini-Golf Castle

In honor of Brooks Britt, Dinosaur Ph.D.

It was a little crazy because lots of public schools in the area were on Spring Break as well, which made for a deluge of moronic, hormone-driven and scantily-clad teenagers who would prowl the streets and beach by night looking for a fellow idiot to breed with. Where are the parents these days??? I know that when we went on vacation, we were normally on leashes with strong, plastic buckles - no messin' around with those things. And even if we were let off our leash (which did happen from time to time), we mostly went around trying to fill our fanny packs with as many stupid souvenirs as we possibly could. I feel like an old man saying it, but what the heck is wrong with kids these days!!!

Other than that, it was a great trip. The beach was beautiful, the company was great, and Myrtle Beach is just one big party. Now back to work, everyone. School starts tomorrow.